FIRSTLY, our dear friend Nobby's funeral has taken place and very sadly without the number of people who would have been expected. Six feet apart was a foreign concept to Nobby, always standing shoulder to shoulder. It was wonderful that so many members were able to rise to their feet at 10.30 on the morning of the funeral, raise a glass and sing the club anthem. Nobby would have been bemused but thrilled. Rest in peace, Nobby, and thanks for the memories.

Thank you to our esteemed Chair for his detailed review of the past season. Given the length of the article he clearly doesn't have much to do, especially as the season was curtailed!

But who does have much to do? As I mentioned in my first missive, Mrs. Oracle thought she had nailed this issue - she must have second sight because immediately the lockdown came into effect I had been dragooned into visiting B&Q, and indulged in buying copious quantities of decorating materials, paint, filler, allsorts. Just to update on the situation. First up was the kitchen, which went Okay. Next on the schedule was the hall, landing and stairs and I really wasn't looking forward to this. Anyway Mrs. Oracle decided that going up and down ladders and steps at my age had now become out of the question, as she didn't want to risk her income having to visit A&E. So I then moved to Sudoku, and as I quickly discovered you can have enough of that and crosswords too! However I have taken the opportunity, as the government has encouraged, to learn new skills and as such I have acquainted myself with the intimate workings of the Dyson, Indesit and other domestic appliances, simply to stop getting bored. I honestly cannot see why domestic engineers (or wives and partners as they also known) make such a fuss about it all.

As I mentioned in the last Isolation piece our next season's destinations are now known. Clearly it's not just the Chair that is scratching around for something to do. Our President has been on Google and Street map and armed with his Abacus has calculated that we will travel a distance of 3898 miles in pursuit of glory next season. Who would ever have thought it, all those years ago before leagues were instigated, that we would be travelling such distances.

In those days the occasional out of town game was all we had, and we very inventive in our use of the day. Who would have thought that a trip to the depths of the Forest to play Berry Hill could last until two in the morning! This vast amount of travelling will surely try that gallant band of supporters who pack the front half of the coach for the away trips. Apparently we will need two coaches due to having to sit six feet apart. Mind you there are already a couple of the guys that nobody wants to sit near anyway! However all this pales into insignificance when compared with our Cornish under-18s lady who has accrued over 10,000 miles travelling to and fro to the Duchy. Well-done Mia, what dedication!

For those of us suffering withdrawal symptoms from not visiting 'The Park', we were given a brief fix the other evening on BBC TV, when Points West showed excerpts of the Bristol Bears Women training as part of an article about one of their props qualifying as a doctor and taking up a role at Yeovil Hospital. We wish her good fortune and health.

All of you dedicated 'shoppers' will be pleased to hear that it is rumoured that all the major supermarkets are revising their parking regulations. To avoid possible collisions, it is proposed that it will be compulsory to reverse park. They think that this will also vastly reduce the number of people parking as about half of UK drivers struggle with this skill! You guess which half.

On a wider field England’s quickest winger, Johnny May, has returned to Gloucester, and in far away sunny Fiji, Francis Kean has been stood down from his country's executive committee. The Premiership is considering a July return to action. Well it will be warmer, phew.

Some humour has been evident during these dour times. If you get the chance have a look on Facebook at the Sutton & Epsom song, brilliant, worth a watch and sing a long.

And now, as Steve eluded, the award of the Oracles, those most sought after accolades based on personal experience, but mostly rumour and hearsay.

Most fun with the opposition supporters – Hell Fire Corner, Redruth.

Most welcoming Club – Leicester Lions, great Faggots (for lunch)

Best visiting supporters – Sutton & Epsom, a huge following and a good fun bunch, they treated us well up there too.

Worst weather – Worthing, again!

Best Player – Taunton full-back Gary Kingdom

Strangest moment – watching our players talking to Old Reds players naked in Chieveley Services Station on the way home from Westcliff

I am sure you will all have your own recipients as well.

Any way, the most important thing is to stay in, keep your distance if you are out, stay safe and protect our wonderful NHS.