DESPITE the Cummings and goings in the government recently, we are still in isolation, but in a little friendlier fashion. I am continuing with my healthy eating and exercise regime, but with no great improvement to my condition. It still sounds as though I am giving myself a round of applause when I run naked up the stairs. But times are still a little tough, however there is always some good news. Thatchers and other breweries are now delivering direct! Katy, Vintage, Gold and Rascal flow freely again.

As I sit here listening to Bach, Handel, Greenday and Springsteen, musing on the evasiveness of the ministers at the latest No 10 press conference (I am reminded of the late great Robin Day when he said to Maggie, so Prime Minister, what will your answer to my first question be?) I receive an email from our esteemed President to say that he thought we might not be able to fulfill our home fixtures next season due to the club motto. He felt that if our opponents saw 'Per Crucis ad Coronam' on the badge they might draw the wrong conclusion.

A friend of mine found himself in hot water with the local constabulary recently. He was pulled over one evening and trying to be helpful immediately wound the window down. The officer, putting his face to the window, enquired “can I smell alcohol on your breath sir?” “Yes” my mate replied, “but only because you are not socially distancing, officer." He awaits his fate!

It's good to see that some law changes are being proposed in response to the Covid -19 Pandemic. Less players allowed in the maul, fewer in the scrums and a range of other safety related ideas. Soccer has responded with some of their own, five substitutes, and no French kissing when a goal has been scored. While dwelling on soccer, or the dark side, as some call it, I was intrigued to read the comments of Luis Enrique, the Spanish National Manager. He said that “playing behind locked doors is sadder than dancing with your sister.” Well, to the best of my knowledge he has never been certain unnamed West country destinations, so how could he possibly know that?

Isolation continues to prompt me to reflect on times past. Looking at the kit worn by players these days set me pondering on what we were expected to wear. Can you remember the shorts? I was astounded as a youngster, having been despatched by Les Fynn to Harris's sports shop. When requesting a pair of shorts I was presented with an item of sports clothing that had two pockets, button up flies and a tape to tie up. Having bought my pair I wore them for the next fixture - I was playing for the thirds, although still a junior.

My naive curiosity regarding pockets was almost immediately satisfied when during half-time, instead of a slice of orange the opposition prop produced a packet of cigarettes from one pocket and a box of matches from the other - something he regretted in the second-half when having been subject to a heavy tackle he self combusted.

For those of you who remember back to the 60's and 70's, you will recall the Nautical School at Portishead. This was a Merchant Navy establishment for the training of 'wayward' lads. Dings Juniors had an annual fixture with them at Portishead. A prerequisite of the fixture was the visitors always took in a supply of cigarettes for the lads, secretly of course. Something the senior sides did on their visits to Leyhill. While looking at the Dings Facebook page recently I was reminded of the other contentious sportswear issue of the time, Speedo's versus Jockstrap. Clearly there were no instructions to the use of the latter as during one game our young centre went down like a felled tree clutching his groin. As Bill Pell took out the magic sponge it was revealed the young lad had put the Jockstrap on the wrong way round!

The Premiership is set for an August return and there is strong talk of a reduced salary cap, something that will not affect us. At our level and the one above, it will be very interesting to watch the progress of those sides who rely heavily on buying sides rather than developing them. The Bears really do seem to be wanting to encourage and build a side with local content. This can only be good for the game. Until the eagerly awaited return of actual rugby, like many I have been filling my time watching YouTube videos of great games past like the RWC Final in 2003 - oh happy days!

Any way, stay safe and well, see you soon.